I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
