My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
