I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
