He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
