I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
