Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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