I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
