There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
