Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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