It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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