Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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