I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
