Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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