connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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