Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
