Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I would ride that face into the sunset
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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