The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
