in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
