I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
