she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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