Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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