theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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