just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
