i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
