We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Boobs are out for the taking
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
