i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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