I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
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