if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
