im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
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