im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
