you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
