dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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