My room smells like vodka and shame
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
