So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
