So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
