so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
