Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
