"it" just moved
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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