to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
