Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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