just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
