I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
