Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Congratulations! We have a period
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
