I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i will never coherently bang her
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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