should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
