For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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