I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
