if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
