how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
