I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
