dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
