You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
